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Calculating high cost of dating.


I was having a few drinks with some friends when one of them said, “I would never date a man driving a Malaysian car. It has to be AT LEAST a Japanese car.”

Right.

Well, Daimler-Chrysler — the manufacturer of Mercedes cars — set up a factory in Pekan, Pahang, so I guess a C class would not be up to her standards.

I don’t blame her, really. Men who could only afford a Kancil or a Kelisa could never afford a woman because they are more expensive than cars to maintain.

I mean, you would need at least RM2,000 a month in order to date a woman regularly.

Think about it.



Let’s do some calculations on the cost of maintaining a girlfriend:



A normal date

Here is a breakdown of the cost of an actual date:

1. At least RM10 for transportation.

2. At least RM70 for the food.

3. If both of you drink or go to clubs, say goodbye to your pension fund.



You would go out at least three to four times a WEEK. That’s 12 to 16 times a month. At a very safe estimated average of RM80 for each outing, that adds up to RM960 to RM1280 a month.

But wait, that’s not all.



Birthdays and special occasions

Birthdays would cost you from RM500 to RM1,000 for both gifts and a night out. And that’s only for HER birthday.

If your girlfriend has parents, siblings, favourite nieces, nephews and pets, the current rate is one-third of what you spend on her. Multiple that with EACH family member.

Special anniversaries and events, which are especially designed to suck you dry, would cost at least RM200 a night, plus another RM100 for gifts and whatnot.

These include your relationship’s first-month, sixth-month and first-year anniversaries, New Year’s Eve, Valentine’s Day, religious holidays blah blah blah.

There’s also emergency shopping where you just HAVE to buy the girl that stuffed hippopotamus dress or rhinestone rhino handbag she’s been craving.



Overhead costs

Like in any business, being with a woman will incur overheads.

Most prominent are phone bills. See them skyrocket as you try to convince her that your phone battery had merely died the night before and that you did not hang up on her.

The worst case of this I have seen was a guy paying off a RM2,500 phone bill in instalments for a year.



Loss of income

Another thing people don’t really see is that being in a relationship would also make you lose your income.

All the nights when you could have been doing some overtime work or even a side business is spent on entertaining your girl.

In fact, being in a relationship is like a job in itself and instead of earning money, you lose it.

The bottomline

Let’s say you spend around RM1,000 a month on dates. Add an average of RM300 for special occasions, shopping and events. With an estimated overhead of RM200 and a loss of income to the tune of RM300 per month, that would set you back RM1,800.

Add another RM200 for an emergency fund if you get into a fight and need to have a reconciliatory date or gift.

There you have it. You need at least RM2,000 a month to maintain a decent girlfriend. And if you’re lucky, she might just hold your hand.

That’s why over 80 per cent of women marry after they’re 30 according to a report in a local English daily.

They quoted the lack of quality men as being one of the main reasons. That’s bull.

There is no such thing as a quality man. We’re all rotten to the core. Give up those screwed-up Barbie-pegasus-Sailor Moon fantasies.

I’ve met quality men and they’re all gay or trying to cheat on their wives.



The REAL reasons why women wait till after 30 to get married are:

1. They need time to stock up on the cash and gifts from the guys. Getting married ends this source of goodies for those freeloaders.

2. Only men above 30 or rich kids can afford them.



I’m not saying this is wrong, I’m just saying that this is how it is.

I don’t blame women for going after money. I mean, who wants to date a loser who can’t afford a Toyota Camry?

Furthermore, money is the source of all happiness.

When you’re sad, just stuff a RM50 in your mouth and you will be singing and dancing again.

Have a fatal stomach wound? Simply rub a few hundred ringgit on the injury and it magically heals itself.

And when you die, you can use your credit card to bribe the gatekeepers of the afterlife to get to the place where the cool people hang out.

And they’d all be driving Honda Civics, no doubt.